Want to Give Googlers a Nice Meal and a Massage?

I’m got all Googly-eyed when I saw that the search giant spends $72 million on feeding its employees. It confirms what I’ve always said: the way to the top of Google’s search results is through the stomachs of its employees.

Want to work for Google — but you can’t code and don’t have an MBA? You’re not completely out of luck: We’ve scanned the 793 positions open in the U.S., and we’ve found some options for you:

* Executive Chefs, Mountain View. High stress — you have to feed a lot of Googlers – but you get to play around with a $72 million food budget. And it might make you a millionaire — even if you have to leave for Facebook to get your payday. Requires culinary degree, at least 5 years as a sous chef, experience with ethnic and vegetarian food, and experience with high-volume dining.

* Massage Therapist, Chicago. Upside: You only have to work 12 hours a week. Downside: You have to rub big-shouldered Googlers. Requires national massage certification, 500 certified massage hours, 3 years of professional massage experience.

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